Coping

Coping. 

We’ve all had to do it, and we all know how hard it is. Whether your cat died, or your favorite aunt, it sucks. There’s no better way to put it, it just sucks.

Because life throws us so many obstacles, we’re often left with a choice. The choice usually is between finding the nearest bridge, or putting a big, fat, fake smile on your face. Dear God, please choose the smile…

We all cope, and most of the time, in a different way than another. I have always been a bottler, it’s who I am. I did that for awhile, until I realized it was eating me alive. I couldn’t sleep at night and the stress hovered over me each day. Finally, I realized I had to do something. That’s right around when I decided to pick up writing. It changed everything for me because I couldn’t talk to people, but at least I could tell someone (even if it was just a sheet of paper). The thoughts that once had sat overflowing in my head began to be written on paper. From then on, everything became clearer for me. When I could see my thoughts written out, they were more clarified, and comprehendible. I could write out the pros and cons, and make more efficient choices. Although writing may not be your coping mechanism, it’s always good to find one…a healthy one.

Coping Mechanisms

Lately, i’ve noticed something. With some people, coping mechanisms are quite apparent. Some unfortunate methods seen have been alcoholism, drug addiction, over-eating, and under-eating. Sometimes, we’ll see the healthy mechanisms like participating in therapy, humor to counteract the pain, or participating in physical activities for enjoyment. Some of the harder mechanisms to see are thought bottling, procrastination, and intellectualization.

As you can see, there are many routes available to take. Maybe that’s the reason why people always tend to choose what’s worst for them. There’s just too many options, so they choose the easiest way out. Thankfully, sometimes when seeing the right reminder, we can stop ourselves from taking the wrong route and turn around.

Why you SHOULDN’T take the easy way out…

That next drink sounds good, right? Yeah, i’m sure it does. Until your next drink becomes one more, and then another. It may seem easy right now. It may seem like you have it all under control, and that doing it is just a happy go-to. What seems happy now, will be a disaster later. It isn’t just effecting you. It will move onto your family, friends, and anyone in your circle. It starts small, and gets bigger. Just don’t start it for the sake of yourself, and everyone around you.

It’s not just alcohol, any other drug is just as bad to use when attempting to deal with problems. Unless you’re struggling from a mental illness, and have a prescription, you shouldn’t be using anything. If you are, a serious wakeup call will be coming your way soon.

It’s not always substances, it’s sometimes just you. Not talking about your problems is almost just as bad as using any substance. As we grow older, more obstacles will occur. If you keep every single problem bottled in your head, you will crash. Believe me. It may seem easier by not dragging your friends and family into your issues, but chances are, they really want to know. If they don’t, a therapist is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Heck, if I got a therapist i’d probably be the happiest girl in the world.

The conclusion is, any unhealthy way of dealing with your problems is the wrong way. If you don’t have a support system at home, find someone at school, or even work. If you think that not one person in the world cares, you’re already wrong. I do.

Healthy but Hard

No one said that hard work was easy, but they did say it was worth it. There are a million ways to help yourself, please don’t choose the ways that hurt. Whether you enjoy volunteering, exercising, or talking, just do it. It may start off hard, but it does get easier. Coping is difficult, but at some point we all find where we need to be.

My main goal throughout life has been to never give up.

If you cope with the healthy ways, you’ll be able to answer the question, “What’s yours?”

Don’t give up, and also remember that each person is fighting their own battle. Be kind, and don’t add any additional stress to peoples lives. Sometimes we can’t see when others are struggling, for that reasoning, never make anyone else’s life any harder than it already is.

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2 thoughts on “Coping

  1. Michael says:

    As always my niece you are a well thought out young woman….May God direct and bless your thoughts and understanding….the hard part is most people do not think before they experience life…which can be good or bad…thanks for your delightful blogs….uncle Michael lovs you

    Like

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