waking up

I think when you’re little you wake up and think all of these things about the world. You think it’s kind, endearing, and welcomes you with open arms. You think your parents will stay happy forever, you think your friends are the best, there’s nothing you would change. Life is good. Life is carefree, you can’t imagine it ever not being that way.

Then one day, things get harder. You become a little more observant. You realize that there’s more to life than the playground. Being hurt isn’t just falling off the swing set anymore, it’s when you don’t get invited to one of your best friends’ birthday parities. Or the boy in your class who didn’t pick you as his friend for the free lunch with your teacher. You remember the time you curled your hair for the first time and wore a dress. You remember your teacher asking you why you looked so dolled up today. You remember being embarrassed for the first time about your crush on that boy who didn’t feel the same way. It’s when you learned life wasn’t always fair. It’s when comparison started to begin and you really realized what inequality meant.

But life went on. You observed more things. Instead of elementary school drama, it turned into middle school. You feel like you’re a step behind everyone. The girls become pretty, but you still have your braces and acne. You start to lose confidence. The boys on the bus call you names; they make up rumors. You didn’t even know what those words meant, but you’re starting to learn. The clicks start to form; you find yourself lost in people. You realize what awkward small talk is. You realize that not everyone is a true friend. You drift from the people who used to be your best friends, and attempt to make new ones.

Classes feel harder, you start to learn what stress is. Life isn’t so easy anymore, it isn’t just a playground. The teachers get grouchy; they start making premade assumptions before they even meet you. You look at other girls and wonder why you don’t look that way too. Clothes become important. That bright yellow Juicy Couture tracksuit doesn’t cut it anymore; you need a new pair of Abercrombie jeans. Don’t mind the price, it’s style. You don’t want to look different, do you? You walk around the halls, talking about the same things. “That new girl is so mean.” “Yeah I know, I think so too,” no you don’t, you don’t even know her. What #1 says, is what #2 believes. Your opinion is irrelevant; you must follow everyone else’s.

Middle school ends, you join a new and bigger world called high school. This is the place you’ve dreamed of. You think your opinion will be heard, you’re mostly right. You think the boys will grow up and you’ll meet someone nice, maybe that’s true. You think that you’ll start fresh here. It’ll be easy. Dear God, it’s not.

Your freshman year of high school, everything is exciting. The classes are new; you’ve developed a new sense of freedom here. There’s more expected out of you, but you think you can do it. You notice girls changing. Abercrombie jeans are ridiculous now, are you 14? No, I’m 15. Well, now it’s True Religion, can you ever keep up?

Things like Homecoming Court become prevalent. Those who get elected are supposedly the most admired in the school, at least that’s what you thought. You shortly realize it’s all just a popularity contest. You thought high school was more than that, you thought personality would start to be valued. Nope, still just looks. The guys get excited at football games while watching the dancers; you always watch in the stands behind. Jealousy creeps up. Why can’t I be that girl? Cause you’re not.

You find a group of friends; you think they’re pretty solid. Little do you know, a year from now everything will change. You experiment now, you meet the older guys. You walk around the school in hopes of someone older admiring you. Little do you understand, it’s never for the right reasons. They invite you to parties, but you’re still to scared to try anything new. You admire the older girls; they seem like they have their shit together. Oh my God, no they don’t. You meet a boy, you date. He was nice, but too boring. You get confused. You find someone else. Too bad you didn’t break up with him yet.

You start your sophomore year. You’re that girl that gets elected on to court; you think life is pretty good right now. Except the fact that you’re confused as hell, have no idea what you’re doing, and there’s a kid playing tricks on your mind every day. He tells you he loves you, he asks you for a picture. You ponder the thought because you think this is how high school works. So you do it. Nothing bad happens, but you feel like an idiot. Always will too. How could you do that to yourself?

That guy who said he loved you introduced you to new things, he said you should take a shot. You did it. You find yourself in a deeper hole than ever. There’s no way out now. The shots become a frequent weekend activity, your friends have open houses. The girls who haven’t done these things think you’re going insane. They spread rumors, or really were they? You walk around with your head down. You plug your headphones in. “I just have to get through the day,” becomes a common mentality. Your boyfriend gets worried, you’re worried too. You don’t tell him though; you want to sort things out. Or do you?

Your boyfriend breaks up with you. You think life hates you. Everyone’s out to get you, this is the worst time in your life. Trust me, you’ll be proved once again that that isn’t true. You turn rebellious; just because you want to hide how really sad you actually are. You start to think you aren’t good enough; the first thing you look at is your body. You’re so fat, Jesus, 120 pounds. What are you?

You stop eating for awhile. You’re breaking out on a daily basis and hiding in your room. The good news is, you’re down to 111. You feel healthy again, at least for awhile. Boys start to look at you. Single and skinny; two things you think guys really like. Too bad the only one you wanted didn’t like you too. You start to eat again.

You’re quite sad how things have ended up, you really don’t want to be anywhere. You’re not wanted. You show up still, have to maintain an image. God, if they only knew what was hiding behind those eyes of yours. If they only knew…Junior year begins, you started to take birth control because of your anxiety and acne. You gained like 10 pounds. You basically wanna shove your head in a pillow for the rest of your life. No one thinks you gained weight, but you can feel it. Soon, you get off that pill and lose it within two weeks. Things are better, right?

You’re snapchatting that boy you met at the end of summer; you think he’s perfect. Nothing like any of the guys you’ve met before, he’s nice. You put yourself in his brain. You make him get to know you, but he didn’t really want to at first. You were just a friend, maybe with some benefits. He loved someone else; you were just a distraction.

You give him an ultimatum; you start to realize your worth. You’re more of a person than you ever were before. He doesn’t love her anymore, he wants you. You get to know him, never know if it’s what you want, but you decide to really give it a chance. You cut that guy off from freshman year, it’s time to grow up. You go on dates, real ones; you even ask him to plan them. It’s all about the impressions. If I can be this cool, sane, and pretty girl, will he learn to like me? You avoid the touchy subjects at all costs, he can’t know the real you.

You get closer. He actually is pretty neat. He’s got some baggage, but you were always a fixer upper. You like the challenge. He distracts you. He convinces you that life is great, only if you’re with him though. The separation anxiety will start to kick in. For the most part, junior year is great. You quit that God awful therapy for your panic attacks, and saw a psychiatrist. She couldn’t believe you made it without meds. Your anxiety is shortly (somewhat) relieved. You have a boyfriend you love. You distance yourself from the drama of your friends, and pop in whenever you want to.

Then you go to prom for the first time. The best night of your life, right? You look perfect. You’ve never been more excited. You have a blast at pictures, then you get on the bus. Your anxiousness and social anxiety kicks in. He wonders why you won’t dance. You host the after party. It’s a catastrophe. It reminds you why you stopped hanging out with your friends in the first place. They always act like intoxicated idiots.

You pull through junior year. You take the ACT, you still suck, but you’re okay. You say, “I love you,” for the first time and actually mean it. You’ve never felt this way before. You’re so scared for him to leave for college; your happy place will disappear. You’re lucky though, you’ll have the summer to prepare. Just kidding, that’s bullshit.

The summer is spent with him, him, and more him. You loved most of it, besides the topic of college. You didn’t do anything too risky, but you felt pretty good. You were in a good spot with most of your friends. Everything was okay. The last weeks before school approach, you’re gone almost all of them. You spend time with your family, and his. You hear some good, and some bad news. You sit through one of the most difficult talks of your life and don’t understand why your faith has never been more challenged.

He leaves for college. You make dinner for the first time night before, you say your goodbyes. “It’s only 20 minutes away,” they said. I never knew how far that would feel until it actually happened. There are moments of clarity, and some with none at all. You visit often, but he wants to be alone. He’s a college kid, that’s what college kids do.

You try to get used to the partying, the confusion, the unknown. It’s so much harder than you ever thought, you feel like you’re breaking. A two way street isn’t two when the other isn’t compromising. School sucks. You hate your classes; senior year was supposed to be fun. You never see any of your friends, and you hate football games. There’s nothing to do in this city. Just when you think the fighting, sadness, and security issues could any worse. You find out she got sicker.

Your boyfriend’s mom; who you quickly learned to love after months of trying to impress. She had cancer, a shitty case of it too. Your heart starts to hurt. The helplessness kicks in. She’s had it for four years, but now she’s on hospice. Things have taken a turn for the worse.

You’re there for him, and his whole family. You can’t even imagine the toll on their hearts. This whole situation is just a testament of faith. Can they do it? Can you do it? What can you do? You stick around. Your first two weekends of senior year are spent with him and his family, struggling to find ways to support.

You give hugs, write cards, give food, but nothing seems to ease the pain. You’re struggling too, God, why this family? The first weekend’s spent filled with goodbyes. You try to hug the pain out of them, but you can still see it in their eyes. You’re trying to hold it together, but it’s so hard. You remember the few, but always meaningful comments she made to you. You’ll always love the color light pink on you, it’ll remind you of her. She thought you looked beautiful in it.

He’s mad all the time. At you, at himself, at the world. Can you do anything right? You feel like the bad guy, but all you’re trying to do is be there. You have to say goodbye; all you can mutter is “you’re an amazing woman.” “I was,” she said, if she only knew what we were all thinking. She’d become the inspiration of your life in a matter of months. So strong, so courageous, 6 kids? How can you manage all of this with 6 kids? She is an amazing woman, always was. Never stopped.

She passes the next day. Could life honestly throw me one hurdle, come at me please. You want to make everything better; you can’t. Just be there when you can. Next weekend, the arrangements begin. The wake, the funeral. Don’t even want to get into specifics. She was a beautiful woman, that’s all I can say. She also raised hell of a family, you can’t even imagine. Her passing will continuously break my heart in the days to come.

You see the impact she made on everyone; especially her children. How will they carry on? You feel this need to be there, but you know you won’t be forever. This, by far, will be the biggest challenge you’ve faced.

So, senior year. Things should be great, but they’re really just not. You sit and wonder why God does the things he does. You question why you of all people are the one in this situation, and how to do a better job in it without losing your mind. You don’t know how to save him in fear of losing yourself. The wait for college acceptances begins, and the anxiousness and fear hovers over you. Every. Single. Day.

How will it end? I don’t know.

why is life so God damn unfair

I mean, I think this phrase comes up pretty often, but what the hell?

How many obstacles can you throw at people until they’ve hit their breaking point?

Why do you keep doing these things that are so unfair with no remorse?

You just keep doing it over and over again.

I want to scream. I want to tell you to stop. But how on earth can I control what you do?

I can’t.

There are those days when people come up to you and tell you that God has a plan, and that everything truly will be okay if you give it time. LIFE. I keep giving you time. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. How much of my time will I give you until it’s too late?

You keep taking people away from me. You keep shortening their time. You keep breaking hearts. You keep making us sad. You keep expecting us to grow, to be better, to move on.

How am I supposed to be better when all you do is make me sad? You keep giving these temporary people and temporary places to create this temporary sense of relief. When will something be permanent?

When will anything be permanent when all you do is turn things to dust?

When will the good times stay good? When will God tell me his plan? I can seek refuge all I want, but when will I ever gain understanding?

I just don’t understand, life. What are you trying to do to me?

Things I’ve learned PT 2

The night before my first day of senior year, and last day of my high school career has arrived. My mind is crowded with anticipation, fear, and happiness all at the same time.

I’ve learned a lot about myself this year, probably more than I ever have before. Junior year brought the best and the worst out of me, and I can’t distinguish which one there was more of. My year was mostly spent happy, but also very stressed at the same time. I didn’t and still don’t know where I’m going. I’m still stuck at school for another long year. Lastly, I’m still as cynical as I was at the end of my freshman year hating every day here just as before.

There are lots of things that made it better though I must say. My family and friends were pretty great and always there when I needed them. I got a boyfriend who made my life 1,000 times better as it seemed. I have a roof over my head and a life to look forward to. The life that I’ve always spent looking forward to; a life in college. Although I’m not done taking my tries at the ACT, I have solid options and hopefully will end up happy wherever I go.

But right now what I can really say is, I take things for granted a lot. I take for granted how good life is to me just based off of singular events and people in my life. I know people who are, and have been, struggling for years. I know people who don’t know if they’ll make it another day. I also know people who have to worry for the safety of others, ALL the time. I’m pretty freaking lucky as much as I hate to admit it.

I go to a school where teachers provide and promote a well rounded education every day. I live in a house where my family provides almost everything for me without a thank you. I have friends that would jump hoops for me whenever I ask them to.

I’m failing to get to the point here, so let me state this more clearly. Life sucks sometimes, to be honest, mine right now kinda even sucks. But honestly, it has to get better. Be optimistic. If you spend years dreading what’s to come and being unappreciative to those who matter, you’re obviously going to hate life. I’m not saying I take my own word by any means, but going into my senior year I’m starting to realize life is a little bigger than just me.

There are so many things to do and people to meet, always be openminded. Life will never stay boring unless you make it that way. I sometimes feel like where I live is the worst place in the world, but then I realize how much freaking worse it could actually be. If you’re bored, switch things up.

Do what makes you happy and keep whoever makes you happier. If neither of those things happen, you’re bound to a life filled with disappointment.

As cynical and afraid I am of the year and whats to come, I know how much I’ll end up missing this time in my life. Life is easy, easier than it probably ever will be. I’ve had the same friends since seventh grade and I don’t know what life will look like without them. I live with my beyond supportive family and my mom who does my laundry every single day.

Focus less on your doubts and more on your joys. Take life as it comes to you and always work to be more. Life isn’t easy, but usually we’re the ones that are making it harder.

Life is good, God has a plan, and things will and can be better. Always do your best.

 

 

 

Sad Eyes

She walks around with sad eyes

Every where she goes.

People think she’s happy,

But no one really knows.

 

She walks around with sad eyes

Every where she goes.

She wants someone to ask her,

But no one ever goes.

 

Her eyes sometimes get brighter,

But the sunshine goes away.

At 10:pm in her bedroom,

Memories start to fade.

 

She tries her best to recall them,

But always tries too much.

Her head starts to hurt,

Her face starts to flush.

 

Her smile starts to fade,

Her eyes begin to flutter.

 

The tears that are falling drown her underwater.

 

The next time you see a girl with sad eyes,

Go and ask her why.

Let her tell you how she’s feeling,

Sit and let her cry.

Don’t tell her to feel better,

It doesn’t work that way.

Hug her till she smiles,

Help it go away.

 

The next time you see a girl with sad eyes,

Don’t you let her down.

Put her on a pedestal,

Give her a crown.

Make her feel pretty,

Make her feel smart.

Tell her she’s worth it,

Don’t let her fall apart.

something I didn’t know

What I didn’t know was, you weren’t the answer. You never were.

And when I met someone else, I realized it; no one else is, or ever would be the answer to my problems.

The hollowness of my heart was my own problem, and no one else’s.

When I learned that, everything became fuller. More lively. More happy.

A relationship isn’t meant to fulfill you, it’s meant to be the cherry on top of it all.

Once your flaws and perfections are learned to be embraced rather than withheld, that’s when you’re ready.

You’re ready to be more. Not just yours, but someone else’s.

And when you do this, and it’s the right relationship, you shouldn’t feel like you’re someone else. You should feel exactly yourself, and maybe even learn a little more about yourself in the process.

A relationship isn’t meant to tear you down. A relationship isn’t meant to make you second guess your decisions. It should give you a level of certainty and comfort you may’ve never attained once before.

A relationship shouldn’t consume you, it should be just a little extra to you. It’s a tie, but it shouldn’t take over your entire life. It should just be another single part of it.

A relationship should push you to be better and feel better about all aspects of life. If your relationship isn’t doing that, it isn’t a relationship.

the ways I don’t tell you

Whenever you feel that I’m hiding things from you, it’s most likely that you’re correct.

It’s mostly for your benefit that I don’t say how I feel or elaborate on what I mean.

Because if I did, it’s most likely that I’d lose you.

I’ve learned from experience that it’s best to hold onto how I feel.

Because the things left unsaid are better than confronting the truth.

Maybe I’m wrong for believing that you are the same as everyone else.

But you’ve never proven to be anything else.

And if you did prove to be, the truth is I’d push you away.

Because I have a fear of losing what’s closest to me,

so instead of letting it happen

I’ll make you go.

Because I know you will do it on your own sooner than later.

Because people like you don’t stay with people like me.

And it’s my fault that I think that way,

but I’ve never met anyone who stays long enough to change my mind.

So when you feel that I’m hiding things from you,

remember that it’s better.

Because if you knew how I feel,

you’d run away.

By not telling you,

you will stay a little longer.

And then,

for once,

everything will stay as it is momentarily.

Before everything begins to change.

 

The art of passing through

We all know that our lives contain thousands of beginnings and endings. 

In the midst of those times, people walk in and out of our lives.

I have yet to understand just why people would be placed in our lives if they’re eventually intending on leaving. Most people think that it’s a lesson and prepares us for the people who will actually end up staying by our sides. 

Either way, even when we don’t exactly notice it, we’re always passing through.

We’re carelessly walking through people’s lives, allowing them to connect with us, and then leaving them for one reason are another. It’s not that we see these people as insignificant, it’s more than we are so self absorbed that their significance to us becomes blinded. 

It’s usually months later (or years in my case) that we realize we made a big mistake by just passing through. 

Even though we may see it as a mistake, it left an impact. Maybe not on us, but rather who’s life we decided to walk in on and then out. 

We leave little imprints wherever we go. On hearts, on minds, we changed something. 

There’s no way to determine whether we’ll be passing through or sticking around. Because of that, I think it’s really important to leave the right memory.

What I mean by that is, how will we be remembered? 

What will you do to make sure you left in a clean and kind way? Not a way that leaves the other person in 100 pieces that is always waiting for someone else to them pick up. 

I believe the best way is to pass through and not return. If you choose to leave someone’s life, intend on staying out of it. When you do realize that it was a big mistake, realize that it was yours. Don’t feel the necessity to come running out of nowhere back into someone’s life because you start to realize that back then it was easy.

Secondly, 

Don’t leave without a specific and declared reason. We all know how hard it is to have someone leave our lives without ever having the answer as to “why?”. Be honest, whatever the reaction may be is the right one. 

Leaving with no reason, and no response does no good for anyone. It leaves an open door for the other persons curiosity, and tugs on every last string of their heart.

Lastly,

The “fade out” method.

I think it’s bullshit. You’re fading, and we see you drifting away. We’re trying to reach out and you ignore it. It’s so obvious and so rude. 

If the relationship meant anything at all to you, I would hope you leave it with a little respect. Don’t expect the other person to drift away along with you, it doesn’t always work that way. 

Imagine watching a plane fly alway in slow motion while the other person is standing inside looking out the airport window. That’s what you’re doing. That person is watching you over a slow, restless period of time walk alway from them. They’re trying to reach out but just can’t seem to get their fingertips to touch. 

You could choose to give them a day or weeks long time of hurt, but instead you’re giving it to them over a course of month +. 

Don’t just “fade out.” 

We pass through each other’s lives on a daily basis, but I can’t stress how important is to remember that some relationships require a little more attention than others. 

Everything happens for a reason, but it’s also really great to know what that reason is. 

Writing Rant 2: “Why I REALLY am quitting”

I just watched a video called ‘Why I REALLY am quitting’ shared on Facebook through one of my favorite websites, Elite Daily. (Link below)

http://elitedaily.com/social-news/former-model-reveals-truth-fake-Instagram/1268924/

The video has a former model and social media star raging about the many lasting effects of her career. Just like most girls her age, she was deeply intrigued by the world of social media. She believed at one point that every picture had a story and every smiling face was a real one.

What she didn’t know was that behind the screen there was a world of isolation, anxiety, and depression. She found herself diving deeper in a world of followers, while doing so, she lost all matter in what her life used to be.

All she cared about was how the world viewed her. Her happiness relied on a few comments and likes. If she didn’t get a certain amount of followers a day, she saw herself as a disappointment.

From the ages of 12-18, she wasted so many moments. She isolated from finding love and happiness within herself, and her life. She speaks of how angry she was about discontinuing her passions for art and writing. This new and “happier” life of social media turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

This image she portrayed with each Instagram and youtube video seemed so “real.” She finally made the decision to protest against who she used to be. She chose to enlighten people of the realities of social media, and damn, she did hell of a job doing it.

So this is what I took from it, 

We live in a society where we can fake a smile behind a screen, where in reality, we may be having one of the worst nights of our lives. “A picture says one hundred words”, but none of those words include a feeling.

A life spent relying on other peoples acceptance is not a life at all. Half of the people who give a damn on social media, aren’t worth a damn.

It’s time that we realize that social media is a widely used promotional tool that is progressively growing. This tool has the ultimate power to be destructive, or helpful.

Rarely in our society are we using social media for the right reasons. We care too much and rely on it to be the cure of our many insecurities. What we don’t understand is, it’s actually making them worse.

Comparison is the thief of joy, and so is Instagram.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t use social media, because truthfully, I would hate having a world without it. But, we really should alter our perspective of it. It should be used as a method of sharing. It is such a beneficial way to keep families and friends close together, who are technically miles apart. It shouldn’t be used to fish for compliments, or show off how “awesome” our life is. (If you need to show it off, it probably isn’t that awesome.)

There are so many positive ways to promote health and happiness through social media. We shouldn’t be promoting, and romanticizing anorexia and depression. These things that we’re all looking up to should actually be seen as the opposite.

Bottom line is, watch the video. Decide then if your followers determine the value of your entire life.

Authenticity

I spent my MEA weekend with some great friends, and my awesome family. Usually, these trips end up in somewhat of a dramatic spin. Luckily, this one turned out with not one at all.

A large portion of our weekend was spent telling stories. These stories varied back to our childhoods, and even to our parents college years. Each one of them having some type of comedy or lesson involved.

A lot of our stories related to family, and often there were strange ones about them. But the awesome part about it was, we embraced it for how it is. Our strange (believe me) extended families are a huge part of our day to day lives, and how we view things today. I can’t, and on most days, wouldn’t change it. 

After these stories, I ended up sitting with my dads best friend from college, Stacey, talking about backgrounds. What the conversation came down to was this: Backgrounds are what make us authentic.

I never had really thought of it that way until she said it. Authentic means real and genuine, and that’s exactly what I look for in people.

I’m attracted to people (friends & significants) who are real. Who embrace who they are, and have a real sense of where they came from. I love people who actually have a background and can see it for what it is. This is what makes people different, and interesting. I don’t know what could be more compelling than those two words.

What this conversation taught me was no matter what your background is, it’s authentic. It’s a part of who you are. As much as you hate, or love your family, they are a huge part of shaping who you are today.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is this: 

Authenticity isn’t just something you should be noticing and looking for in objects. 

Authenticity is branded into people as well.

Real and genuine are two things that have always stood as a major importance in my life. I think that’s mostly because I come from two parents who lived two very different lifestyles. I love and respect that. I think that’s something that makes people interesting.

Basically, authentic is something we should all strive to be. Whether you’re background is 100% clean, or entirely dirty, it is a always a part of you.

I rather hear the truth about someone’s story all day than a pile of bullshit. Different will always be better than boring. 

Being who you are is what makes you authentic, embrace it. Wherever you came from is too, and that’s something to be acknowledged. 

a message to any freshman (wherever you may be)

To All The Beginners of New Chapters

I recently discovered that not only have I finished two years of high school, but that I only have two more left. I also have discovered that I am about to embark on one of the worst years of my life, junior year, and take the standardized test that ultimately decides my future. After taking that, I will spend hours filling out college applications to places that I have spent hours narrowing down to, and some of them will be out of my wildest dreams. And hopefully, just maybe, I will find the college I have waited years for. Or maybe, it will be the opposite of what I waited for. I won’t know until I get there.

Recently, I began to reminisce to my freshman year. I started helping out with a program at the high school, Connect 9,  a group of upperclassmen who all come together throughout the year to help freshman become connected within the school. While doing so, something popped in my head. I am going to be a freshman again, just not at the high school. But probably in a different state, on my own, with no parents, which is even scarier. At the same time, I realized it’s all the same. It’s a new beginning in my life.  A clean slate, a new place, and a window of endless opportunities all at my reach. The question that always stands is, how will I take advantage of them?

Since I have already gone through that dreaded year, I figured I’d share some of my maybe, somewhat helpful insight. Here are the things that I learned from my freshman, and sophomore year. Maybe you’ll learn them earlier than I did (hopefully) :

1. Don’t be someone you’re not. 

You will meet dozens of people who are all the same. Dressing the same, acting the same, and thinking the same. Do not be afraid to stand out and take a different path. Kids your age may not respect it, but adults will. Original wins, always.

2. Change is OKAY. 

Although it’s terrifying and stressful, you will adjust. We are put on this world with the ability to adapt. If I can do it, TRUST ME. You can too. All it takes is an open mind, and some positive thinking. Do not do what I did, and go into high school with the mindset of it sucking. If you do, it probably will.

3. Meet New People

This is one of the few things I did right throughout my experience at EPHS. Do not only talk to your small group of 5 friends because I promise when you get to college, it’s going to be harder than you think. Take the time to get to know people in your classes, and who you sit next to. There are so many interesting individuals around us, yet we are so oblivious to the fact that their there sometimes. Some of my greatest friends were made my freshman year, and I wouldn’t change it in a second. Get out of your bubble, and comfort zone. Learn how to communicate.

4. Get to know your teachers.

This is huge, and one of my favorite parts of high school. Especially at Eden Prairie, most of the teachers are more influential, and passionate than anyone you’ll ever meet. Listen and respect them. Please take the time to say thank you, and actually appreciate the time they spend teaching you. They are preparing you for your future and have the best of intentions. IF you actually try to develop a relationship…what some would even call a friendship, it is EXTREMELY beneficial. When you need a recommendation, they’ll be there. When you have an extremely hard time taking a test, they might even be there too.

5. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment.

High school is a bumpy road for most, if not all people. Things happen and it will suck. Remember to not let that guide you down the wrong road. We’re all changing, growing, and teenagers. There are hormones and emotions that will always be more than we can handle. Try your best to. Remember your morals, and what you stand for as a person. Don’t lose the things you value the most.

6. Your first boyfriend or girlfriend. 

Some of you will date, and most of you will have your first heartbreak too. High school is when things begin to get a little more serious than they used to back in eighth grade. The best quote I have ever heard about love is, “it shouldn’t make you any less of who you are”. If you in any way feel like your sacrificing who you are, and what you love to do. Just drop it. We’re too young anyways, and there’s so much more time to get involved with stuff like that. I don’t blame whoever does because I do understand. I am, and always have been a romantic who lives in romantic comedies, and love stories. When I fall, it’s hard. It’s just really important to remember, it’s not the end of the world when you’re sixteen years old and lose the first guy you loved. It’s just a lesson to be learned.

7. We all mess up sometimes.

Sometimes, our emotions do end up clouding our judgment. If you ask 90% of high schoolers if they’ve done something they regret within the past year, they will say yes. Maybe you’ll lose a friend, or respect, whatever it is, you will get through it. BUT, only if you decide to have the strength to. Don’t turn to substances, or random hook ups, or whatever society taught us is the newly accepted way of pushing away our feelings. Instead, cry a little, or a lot. Even be a hermit for awhile, and then decide to move on.

8. GRADES MATTER! 

Hopefully you know this. I have always known this, but for some reason, freshman year I had a different perspective of what a good grade was. I’m not a genius, and I don’t get straight A’s. For all of you who do, praise God every morning you wake up. I wish with all my heart that I had that security in my life. For those of you who don’t, remember to try your hardest. Think of working hard and times it by 10. Do that, but also don’t be too hard on yourself. But do not be stupid and decide to not try. Your future is in YOUR hands, and you have the ability to make it all you wished it to be.

9. Distractions

In high school, whether it’s drama, or twitter, you will get distracted. Avoid those distractions at all costs. Run from them. They are a waste of time, and take chunks out of your once beautiful GPA. You start with a 4.0, do not lose it out of stupidity. I BEG of you.

10. Take advantage of opportunities.

Do not, do not, DO NOT miss out on them. Join clubs, try out for sports, do whatever your heart desires. Not only do they look good on college apps, but they also make you feel better about yourself. A good GPA is great, but what’s even better is having extra curricular’s on top of it. These clubs may seem silly now, but they may end up being one of your biggest passions. I started volunteering through the high school, and I can honestly say it’s something that I will spend doing for a very, very long time. Try new things, and enjoy them.

After 10 of my biggest lessons, I’ll leave saying one thing. High school is exactly what you make it to be. It’s all up to you.

Sincerely,

girl who is dreading the future