back…again?

Since I haven’t blogged in months and my life has turned back into an uneventful, summer bliss I figured it was time to get back into the writing game.

Unlike sophomore year summer Emilee, junior year summer Emilee has a minimum amount of complaints about her life.

Life is good. Really good. Annoyingly good. Good enough to make me unable to write the things I used to, and process emotions the way I used to. I hate to say it, but I’ve become one of those people; a person who is annoyingly talking about the joys in her life.

My parents are great… in fact, greater than ever. We get along? I don’t know how that happened within the span of a year, but I’d like to think that my anxiety meds had a GREAT deal to do with it. Thank you Prozac, you’re the shit. Since we’re on the topic of prozac, my dog used to take it too. He died, but I’d like to think the pill made both of our lives much better. RIP Baxter, I miss you. You were also “the shit.”

My friends… now that’s a subject that seems to never drastically change throughout the years. A lot of work as usual, but luckily I have a boyfriend that gives me the power to avoid most of them 99.9 % of the time. If I could redo anything starting from the beginning of my freshman year, I would choose befriending on close manners MORE than 5 females.

The thing that’s wrong with befriending ONLY 5 females is, they also only befriend 5 females. Therefore, you have the same friends. All the time. No breaks. With more and more and more shit piling between you over the many years. And what’s even worse than your 5 female friends, is your multiple male friends. The chubby, weird, AWESOME guys I befriended back in seventh grade have now learned to think with more than their brains. Instead, they now uses their penises.

Okay, okay, but now I’ll skip back to the positives. I mentioned earlier I have a boyfriend.  I love my boyfriend. He’s better than prozac, he’s like my savior. He rubs my head and gives me back massages when I’m tense. He deals with my anxiousness and awkwardness on a daily basis and still treats me like I’m the best thing ever (I’m so not). But what am I then? LUCKY. I’m lucky that I learned what I didn’t want and finally found what I did. Someone who’s kind, adorable, attentive, and most of all imperfect. Perfect is a word meant for the oblivious and ignorant. No one will ever be perfect. But damn, he’s pretty close. But what I have learned about love is, the imperfections become your favorite parts. You love someone for all the things you actually do LOVE about them, but you also learn to love the things you hate too.  I wouldn’t change a single thing. I mean I wouldn’t change a thing other  than the fact that he’s a year older and leaving me for college next year. That’s going to be a large, large, large, large, did i mention large? BUMMER!

Lastly (for today), I think that I’ve grown up. I learned my priorities and kinda, sorta what I want from the world and people around me. No, I’m not necessarily getting it. But I do plan to, someday. My life is full of somedays. But I like somedays because they give me something to look forward to. I can’t help but hope for that big journalism career, or going to the schools that are unattainable for me. I can’t help but dream of my perfect life with my three adorable boys and beautiful, kind husband. Someday sounds pretty good to me, of course if I make it there.

 

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The art of passing through

We all know that our lives contain thousands of beginnings and endings.

In the midst of those times, people walk in and out of our lives.

I have yet to understand just why people would be placed in our lives if they’re eventually intending on leaving. Most people think that it’s a lesson and prepares us for the people who will actually end up staying by our sides.

Either way, even when we don’t exactly notice it, we’re always passing through.

We’re carelessly walking through people’s lives, allowing them to connect with us, and then leaving them for one reason are another. It’s not that we see these people as insignificant, it’s more than we are so self absorbed that their significance to us becomes blinded.

It’s usually months later (or years in my case) that we realize we made a big mistake by just passing through.

Even though we may see it as a mistake, it left an impact. Maybe not on us, but rather who’s life we decided to walk in on and then out.

We leave little imprints wherever we go. On hearts, on minds, we changed something.

There’s no way to determine whether we’ll be passing through or sticking around. Because of that, I think it’s really important to leave the right memory.

What I mean by that is, how will we be remembered?

What will you do to make sure you left in a clean and kind way? Not a way that leaves the other person in 100 pieces that is always waiting for someone else to them pick up.

I believe the best way is to pass through and not return. If you choose to leave someone’s life, intend on staying out of it. When you do realize that it was a big mistake, realize that it was yours. Don’t feel the necessity to come running out of nowhere back into someone’s life because you start to realize that back then it was easy.

Secondly,

Don’t leave without a specific and declared reason. We all know how hard it is to have someone leave our lives without ever having the answer as to “why?”. Be honest, whatever the reaction may be is the right one.

Leaving with no reason, and no response does no good for anyone. It leaves an open door for the other persons curiosity, and tugs on every last string of their heart.

Lastly,

The “fade out” method.

I think it’s bullshit. You’re fading, and we see you drifting away. We’re trying to reach out and you ignore it. It’s so obvious and so rude.

If the relationship meant anything at all to you, I would hope you leave it with a little respect. Don’t expect the other person to drift away along with you, it doesn’t always work that way.

Imagine watching a plane fly alway in slow motion while the other person is standing inside looking out the airport window. That’s what you’re doing. That person is watching you over a slow, restless period of time walk alway from them. They’re trying to reach out but just can’t seem to get their fingertips to touch.

You could choose to give them a day or weeks long time of hurt, but instead you’re giving it to them over a course of month +.

Don’t just “fade out.”

We pass through each other’s lives on a daily basis, but I can’t stress how important is to remember that some relationships require a little more attention than others.

Everything happens for a reason, but it’s also really great to know what that reason is.

instant gratification and its downsides

I just watched a video called ‘Why I REALLY am quitting’ shared on Facebook through one of my favorite websites, Elite Daily. (Link below)

http://elitedaily.com/social-news/former-model-reveals-truth-fake-Instagram/1268924/

The video has a former model and social media star raging about the many lasting effects of her career. Just like most girls her age, she was deeply intrigued by the world of social media. She believed at one point that every picture had a story and every smiling face was a real one.

What she didn’t know was that behind the screen there was a world of isolation, anxiety, and depression. She found herself diving deeper in a world of followers, while doing so, she lost all matter in what her life used to be.

All she cared about was how the world viewed her. Her happiness relied on a few comments and likes. If she didn’t get a certain amount of followers a day, she saw herself as a disappointment.

From the ages of 12-18, she wasted so many moments. She isolated from finding love and happiness within herself, and her life. She speaks of how angry she was about discontinuing her passions for art and writing. This new and “happier” life of social media turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

This image she portrayed with each Instagram and youtube video seemed so “real.” She finally made the decision to protest against who she used to be. She chose to enlighten people of the realities of social media, and damn, she did hell of a job doing it.

So this is what I took from it,

We live in a society where we can fake a smile behind a screen, where in reality, we may be having one of the worst nights of our lives. “A picture says one hundred words”, but none of those words include a feeling.

A life spent relying on other peoples acceptance is not a life at all. Half of the people who give a damn on social media, aren’t worth a damn.

It’s time that we realize that social media is a widely used promotional tool that is progressively growing. This tool has the ultimate power to be destructive, or helpful.

Rarely in our society are we using social media for the right reasons. We care too much and rely on it to be the cure of our many insecurities. What we don’t understand is, it’s actually making them worse.

Comparison is the thief of joy, and so is Instagram.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t use social media, because truthfully, I would hate having a world without it. But, we really should alter our perspective of it. It should be used as a method of sharing. It is such a beneficial way to keep families and friends close together, who are technically miles apart. It shouldn’t be used to fish for compliments, or show off how “awesome” our life is. (If you need to show it off, it probably isn’t that awesome.)

There are so many positive ways to promote health and happiness through social media. We shouldn’t be promoting, and romanticizing anorexia and depression. These things that we’re all looking up to should actually be seen as the opposite.

Bottom line is, watch the video. Decide then if your followers determine the value of your entire life.

writing rants

I used to think that in order to write well you had to have some kind of syndrome or addiction. I realize how stupid that sounds, I really do. But it’s the truth, I really thought that some piece of you had to be missing in order to write anything worth reading.

In most instances with literature, it’s pretty true. Writers either start out as depressed lunatics, or turn into them by the end of their first novel. They live their lives in books, hiding their emotions from the world. It’s only when the book is written that you can see how they actually felt through the use of their characters and background of the story.

Alcoholism also takes a major part in some of histories most well written novels. F. Scott Fitzgerald’s, ‘The Great Gatsby’, a novel I’m reading for my 11th grade english class proves the best uses of it. Fitzgerald spent most of the second half of his life working relentlessly to sell his first few novels. No book he had ever written showed more raw emotion than this one. Fitzgerald’s addiction to alcohol was not only shown in his real life, but it also stood as a major importance throughout the novel itself.

I guess what i’m saying is that the best writing is influenced by a number of different things. Unfortunately, it seems that most ideas are influenced by the worst of them. What i’ve also found is, it doesn’t take an extreme mental illness or substance to spark your imagination.

Our generation is constantly self-medicating and self-prescribing mental illnesses and problems. We overthink and believe that shoving a variety of different things down our throats will give us the answer. It’s almost as if we thrive off of our newfound negativity and can’t seem to push it off.

What needs to be realized is, imagination can be sparked off of so much more than our depression and anxieties. Truthfully, it’s awful that I even spent time relying on my saddest days to pick up a pen. I honestly believed for awhile that in order to keep writing, I had to stay sad. When I wasn’t, I had to make myself be.

Creativity should be based off of so much more than that. Experiences shouldn’t need substances in order to have interest. Stories shouldn’t all be written in our darkest corners.

Bottom line is, not every writer needs to have a problem. If you do (which most of us d0), work to fix it. It’s time to find different fuels for our passions.

Authenticity

I spent my MEA weekend with some great friends, and my awesome family. Usually, these trips end up in somewhat of a dramatic spin. Luckily, this one turned out with not one at all.

A large portion of our weekend was spent telling stories. These stories varied back to our childhoods, and even to our parents college years. Each one of them having some type of comedy or lesson involved.

A lot of our stories related to family, and often there were strange ones about them. But the awesome part about it was, we embraced it for how it is. Our strange (believe me) extended families are a huge part of our day to day lives, and how we view things today. I can’t, and on most days, wouldn’t change it.

After these stories, I ended up sitting with my dads best friend from college, Stacey, talking about backgrounds. What the conversation came down to was this: Backgrounds are what make us authentic.

I never had really thought of it that way until she said it. Authentic means real and genuine, and that’s exactly what I look for in people.

I’m attracted to people (friends & significants) who are real. Who embrace who they are, and have a real sense of where they came from. I love people who actually have a background and can see it for what it is. This is what makes people different, and interesting. I don’t know what could be more compelling than those two words.

What this conversation taught me was no matter what your background is, it’s authentic. It’s a part of who you are. As much as you hate, or love your family, they are a huge part of shaping who you are today.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is this:

Authenticity isn’t just something you should be noticing and looking for in objects.

Authenticity is branded into people as well.

Real and genuine are two things that have always stood as a major importance in my life. I think that’s mostly because I come from two parents who lived two very different lifestyles. I love and respect that. I think that’s something that makes people interesting.

Basically, authentic is something we should all strive to be. Whether you’re background is 100% clean, or entirely dirty, it is a always a part of you.

I rather hear the truth about someone’s story all day than a pile of bullshit. Different will always be better than boring.

Being who you are is what makes you authentic, embrace it. Wherever you came from is too, and that’s something to be acknowledged.

an open letter to the ones who hurt us

I spent most of my life feeling lost, a feeling that differs with most people. Some people refer to lost in the sense of reminiscing. For example, being a child deserted in the middle of the grocery store, desperate to find his mother.

For me, lost has meant something entirely different.

I feel lost in the sense of being myself. I know entirely who I am, yet I do everything in my power to fight the truth off. I’m lost within who I am, who I want to be, and who I am expected to be.

I find that my life has been sending me the same obstacles, over and over again. Each time, I fall a little steeper within the cracks.

For short moments, I thought I had found the answer.

Little did I know, relying on a person to save you from your own darkness can only last so long.

I have brief moments of seeing the light. When it fades, I close my eyes, and each time I do, I see you.

When I couldn’t see the good in myself, I knew one person did. You saw the good in the world, and the way you spoke of it, made me believe it was there too. You reminded me who I was, and that was something that I hadn’t been able to see for a very long time. You showed me that love existed, even in the strangest of circumstances and forms.

I thank you for those reminders, and I thank you for the person you used to be. I thank you for turning on the temporary light when I needed it the most.

Although I am grateful for those small moments of positivity, the negatives are what left me where I am today. I once was lost, but I could have been found. You left me to the point where I believed I was “permanently damaged.”

I understand now that I am not.

For a long time, you went out of your way to make me who I wasn’t. You may not have intentionally, but it confused me of everything I had once valued. You transformed the way I spoke, thought, and felt. I said less in order to be of importance to you, and I did more to impress you. I learned the arts of manipulation, and utter destruction. I apologized for things that I didn’t say (as much as you believe I did), and felt the pain that you never owned up to for causing.

I still don’t blame you, nor will I ever. Unlike you, I will always admit to the fact that I care. I will never stop caring, but I won’t let you use that for your own advantage anymore. I may always have a problem with relying on others to fill the hole you left me with, but I won’t let you dig it any deeper.

So, here’s my open letter to you,

Thank you for teaching me how to love, although it was in the worst of forms. The moments good, and bad have stuck with me every day since. I’m sorry for believing that you were the one to save me out of my own darkness. I’m sorry for saying too much, or even too little. I’m also sorry for doing whatever made you treat me the way you do today. I promise you that I will never make someone feel the way you made me feel these past years. I will probably never make someone care for me the way that you gave me the opportunity to, and I will never fall as hard as I did for you. As much as I’d love to hate you, I would be lying if I said I did. As much as I want to keep caring, I know I would be pathetic for carrying on doing so any longer.

I’m attempting to accept the fact that you are toxic for me, and I am toxic for you. I hope to one day find a relationship that has the same heightened level of feelings, but less of the sickness. I hope you find the same.

As much as I stupidly wish to be given one hundred more chances, I need to understand that you should be the one asking for them. Your silent treatments, harsh words, and actions have left me hurt over and over again.

You may not enjoy confronting your own fears and issues, but I hope you see that at some point we all have to. I wanted to be the one to help you work through them, but I now understand that I cannot. The more I tried, the worse you treated me. I hope you someday let someone see your heart for what it was, before you decided to put a shield over it.

I loved you, and probably always will. It’s an awful curse that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. At one point it was the greatest privilege in the world, but you then made it into the most toxic.

This is my oddest form of closure, writing what I would never ever have the guts to say to you. I just wanted you to know that you matter, and that you did especially to me. I wanted to you to understand that I had the highest hopes of being everything to you, and will always be saddened by the fact that I ended up being absolutely nothing.

I also refuse to sit, pine, and compare over you anymore. I’m working to understand that I deserve more, and you weren’t everything that I wanted. I wanted to be treated above averagely, and cared for beyond measure. I’m working to understand that you will never be the one open to do that. I refuse to participate in your games anymore, or let you take advantage of my vulnerability.

I no longer will be relating you to the “light” that I saw in the world, nor will I relate you to the darkness.

I appreciate the largely based impact you made on my life good, and bad.

I really am going to try to let this be my actual closure this time. I will not think about you anymore in comparison to perfectly good guys, who actually care enough to be with me. It will be hard, but I need to let you go.

So, this is me saying goodbye. I will now be repairing the damages this entire mind game left me with.

Why being a “hopeless romantic”, isn’t so hopeless at all.

I have always been the one who takes relationships too seriously.  The one who can’t do short term.

The truth is, that isn’t the truth at all.

I know what I want, and I don’t want to settle with any less. What’s wrong with not wanting to invest my heart into something thats bound to end?

Unfortunately, I have grown up in a hook up culture. People start, and even end what they call a “relationship” by partaking in this. Not that I judge those who do it at all, because I don’t. Being young gives you the right to enjoy all of your features, abilities, etc. It’s only normal for your hormones to be let out someway or another.

But for me, relationships have always just meant something more. Maybe it was the way I was raised, or maybe something I just evolved into believing. I think the body, and heart is something to be protected.

This tends to lead me towards the opposite of what I am looking for surprisingly 90% of the time. I have an idea of what I want, but in the end, it ends up not being what I wanted at all.

And usually since I have a big heart, I will keep chasing this idea of what I call “love.” And at some point, I’ll realize it isn’t it.

After those experiences, I say screw it. Screw love.

The truth is, I don’t mean one single word that I just said above.

So I keep searching, and I will probably always be searching until I find exactly what I want.

Eventually, i’ll stop searching and find it right in front of me.

….or at least that’s the hope.

Although being a hopeless romantic ends with disappointment, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I know that when I do settle for less, I will always realize there’s more.

From “falling” so many times, I have learned exactly what I want in a person.

Now I know that my excessive pickiness, and strongly based values actually do matter. So, I will always keep hoping for that relationship that I have wanted.

The idea of hook ups being morally correct and even encouraged, is just not my thing. I love the innocence that I hold, as little, or as much as it may be. I way rather wait to spend it on someone who actually matters to me.

Some may not agree, but numbers add up. There’s a point when there’s so many on someone’s list that you wouldn’t dare to be put on next.

Although it gets exhausting waiting for someone to finally see things the way I see them, I know it will happen.

I know that at some point, whether it’s in high school (extremely unlikely), or college, or maybe a time extremely far from now, someone will sweep me off my feet. I may watch a few too many romantic comedies, but I love the idea of them. I love the idea of someone standing outside my window holding the boombox. I love the idea of being written countless love letters. I love the idea of someone screaming “I love you” to me in the most public place. I love the idea of an actual love.

A love that doesn’t need to be proven through actions, but words. A love that I won’t need to feel like I need to sacrifice who I am for.

It makes me sad that people seem to have stopped wanting this. A short term commitment has become so appealing to most, and I am always on the opposite side. I know relationships don’t last forever, but I don’t want a 45 minute hook up either. Love has become a chore, rather than a privilege. Lust has simply overpowered it.

Love is such a big word, and I have never been one to take it lightly.

Nor should you.

The bottom line is, being a “hopeless romantic” and falling hard for even what you shouldn’t, will always bring you somewhere.

I rather love my heart out, and get broken one hundred times than to give myself to someone who’s name i’ll forget in a year.

So, maybe after all, the “hopeless romantic”, actually has more hope than any other. We just take a longer time finding what we want compared to others.

The Importance of an Unsaid Hope

I think we’ve all shared these small moments, where we have the common belief in something succeeding. Something working out. Something exceeding. Whatever it may be, we have this hope.

I can’t explain it, other than that you start to feel light. You start to feel the irrelevant and trivial things that used to be so important, become less. Just because this thing called hope starts to cloud every judgment you’ve ever had. At times, it even makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. It makes you think of one thing only… that one thing is the bright side

It isn’t so often when we get to see that side of the world. Hope shows so much innocence within a person.  If you really think about it, how many times have things gone the absolute wrong way? The times someone got sick and you couldn’t do anything about it. The time you wanted the job and didn’t get it.

What’s amazing isn’t what went wrong, but how they recovered. How they went on with life when they could have such a distorted view, but choose to see nothing but the good in it all.

I think if there’s anything I value most in myself, I would choose my hope. Although it gets stomped, trampled, and even seems to be broken. It comes back, and when it does, it’s always at its fullest force.

Whether it’s a person, an idea, a memory, or anything at all… Hold onto your hope with all you can. Not only does it protect your innocence, but it gives you the will to keep moving forward despite the circumstance.

That bright side is somewhere, and I haven’t discovered it yet. I truly do hope that I will find it.

Don’t Blink

Summer 2015 has slowly approached its end. Tomorrow morning we’ll all be waking up to another, and hopefully better school year.

Speaking on my behalf, this summer felt like a never ending year. It had its great moments, but it definitely held some of my worst ones too. I never thought much of how fast it would go, and how not to take it for granted.

That was until I woke up this morning and realized I’m going to be a junior, tomorrow.

That year includes:

Turning 17. Taking the ACT. Applying for colleges. New high school drama. Old high school drama. New classes. New friends. New memories.

It’s a lot of news, and a lot of changes, just like each year before. The only difference is that this year relates, and hopefully is one of the most beneficial years to my future.

I’m really nervous, and really excited. I’m also hoping for a lot of change in all areas listed above. Change sounds appealing to me, and I’ve really never been able to say that before.

But I would say the scariest part of it all is, growing up.

As stupid as this sounds, yesterday, my mom brought in one of my old stuffed animals. I got rid of almost all of mine last year without thinking of any value in them. She handed me this big, cute, and furry lion when I was least expecting it. I’m going to embarrassingly admit that I started to tear up. I’m generally not emotional about these types of things, but this time it hit me.

Only so many years ago, that was what I wanted. A big, cute, and furry stuffed lion. Something to play with, and something to cuddle with at night.

I will also embarrassingly admit, 16 year old me sat the lion on my bed and held it in my arms as I slept last night. And ya know what? I liked it.

It reminded me of something I needed to feel again. An easy, hopeful childhood.

There’s perks of growing up, of course. I love being older, and being treated with actual respect. Being able to chime into actual conversations, and see R rated movies are nice too. But sometimes, it’s sad when I reminisce to my childhood. Honestly, it’s even sad to reminisce back to my freshman year. That’s how much things have changed in a 2 year time period.
God, if I only knew how fast that time would go by.

Just like this summer, day by day the time went slow. Looking back at it on my last day, it was a blink of an eye.

I’m 16, and right now, I would do anything to just be 8 again.

 

Sincerely,

the sixteen year old girl who misses her stuffed lion

for a friend

The story seems to always start the same.

You meet someone, and right then, it clicks. It’s everything about them, or maybe just the things you first see. Sooner, or later you start to see  yourself falling in love with those things. It’s a deep tunnel, and you’re moving fast. The little things become big things, and soon you’re all in. It’s not just all about you anymore, it’s all about someone else too. The feelings you once had are now doubled as you begin to feel another’s, and you now have someone else’s heart in your hands too.

And that my friends, is what I call love.

And with love comes 1,000 feelings, responsibilities, and restrictions.

And sometimes, the love that once existed for you, may fade for another. Or sometimes the feelings may be there, but the timing isn’t right. Or maybe you both just know, this isn’t meant to be.

Whatever the situation may be, it all ends the same.

And this my friends, is what I call heartbreak.

During this process, the feelings of abandonment, grief, and even anger may appear. They come at different times, and in a variety of  different places. These feelings will send you on many different binges, obsessions, and even journeys.

If it was real love, the real truth is, it’s going to hurt. It will hurt in a way that I can’t explain in words, and with all my heart, I wish I could take the pain from you, but it can’t work like that. No one, and nothing will be able to take the pain away. Nothing but you, and some sweet ole time can make it go away.

It’s 100% needed to go through the process, and it’s 100% needed to have a support system while doing so.

The thing with love is, it’s hard to explain to anyone if they’ve never actually experienced it before. It doesn’t make sense, and it’s really hard to make sense of what your feeling while being in it.

Now, falling out of love, that’s what is hard to make sense of.

It’s hard imagining a world without that person. It’s hard after spending such a long (or short) time period with them, and wondering how the hell you will do it without them. It’s hard imagining not being able to talk to this person every day, and not being able to say these certain things. It’s hard looking back at those memories, which were once happy, and now only can be seen with sadness. It’s hard to simply even look at the person.

After reading that, I hope you can see where the process begins. If not, here are some of the steps I believe are most beneficial with break ups, and how to do them efficiently.

Step 1: Cry, Scream, or Think it Out

Right after the break up, there are 1,000 thoughts running through your head. It’s important to let them out some way or another. However you decide to handle your feelings is the best way.

Step 2: Put It Away

The 1,000,000 pictures on your walls, it’s time to take them down. Now, unless your boyfriend ran over your cat, do not burn or throw them away. Those memories do mean something, and they were happy. Don’t sob over them, but stack them nicely and release them into a nice cardboard box. Make sure to put his clothes, or gifts in there too. Now take that box, bring it to the basement or attic. Don’t plan on seeing it for awhile.

Step 3: The Support System

You may be going bat shit crazy right now, and if you are, don’t do it alone. Have some time filled with distractions. Bowling, movies, driving, whatever they may be…, you gotta do it. You can’t sob alone in your room forever. Your friends are there for a reason, and will be there to hear, or not hear whatever you’re going through.

Step 4: It’s All You

Now, it’s probably been a few weeks, or even a month now. It still feels like someone stabbed you in the back, but it’s time for you to get off the couch. It’s time for you to be you again. And that you, is the best version. The independent, beautiful, and STRONG… YOU.

It’s time for you to see you don’t need anyone, or any type of distraction. It’s time to realize that you’re the only person you will ever need.

Step 5: A Break

On step 4, you began to start working on you. With that, comes the major importance of not being another’s. After a long relationship, you’re messed up. I hate to admit it, but you are. Don’t dive into someone else, or what some would call a “rebound”. It actually ends up hurting more than you would imagine, and isn’t good for anything at all.

Step 6: He Moved On

So maybe it’s been awhile, or maybe not at all. Either way, you see that he’s talking to someone new. They may seem temporary, or maybe they’re permanent. Either way, you’ll seem them as one thing. A bitch.

And guess what?! That’s totally okay, and totally normal.

He was yours at one time period, and now he’s hers. It’s a simple thing called jealousy. But with jealousy, you can become a crazy person. You can’t do that. Don’t TP her, or whatever devious idea may be in your head. You can only say shit about her in your head, and that’s enough. Trust me. It’s ALWAYS better being the bigger person.

Step 7: It’s Your Turn

Its been awhile. You worked on you, and it feels good. You obviously still have those little feelings for him, but they all seem to be fading. It doesn’t hurt to see him anymore, and you can be in the same room. You’re starting to notice there are guys that exist again, and you’re starting to notice they’re pretty cool.

This means you’re ready.

Take it slow, but don’t hold back. Just because you were hurt once before doesn’t mean it’s bound to happen again.

Step 8: Understanding

The best lesson of all break ups is this:

Boyfriend and girlfriend share one thing in common. The last three letters both include the word end. Like all (or most) things, they all come to an end.

Endings sometimes suck. But there are other ways to look at them, such as, the beginning of a new chapter, or the opening of a new door.

With all endings, there’s a way to be remembered. The crazy x, or the one who got away. It’s ultimately up to you, how you are seen by your x significant.

Just always remember who you are. Remember that person without a boyfriend/girlfriend, you can be them anytime you want. That person can be just as great, and just as happy.

If you spend your life opening up old doors, and re-living old chapters, you’ll never experience anything new.
Life’s full of experiences, you gotta try em.

I’ll end with one, odd analogy.

We always appreciate the beginning of a great book, but what we really take out of it was the ending. Just as a relationship works, we must learn from our endings, and even (through time) being to appreciate them.

Think about it.